Pyre of Ages

This post is in honor of a great national treasure that was recently lost to South Korea as the result of the unforgivable selfishness of a single depraved individual. This month, the great Gate known to most as Namdaemun burned to its foundations after having been kindled by an old man who was angry at the government for not giving him money, or something stupid like that (since there is no excuse for what he's done, I could care care less about the reason behind it).

I was in Seoul at the time and remember seeing the column of smoke. It took the fire department more than 5 hours to put it out because they were afraid to damage it with their water cannons; thus the ancient wooden structure burned like a titanic sacrificial lamb on the alter of irresponsibility. It had stood for over 600 years, enduring all manner of warfare and disaster, only to be mangled by one selfish individual. I think it hit me harder because I was here and I witnessed evidence of the burning, but I was unable to believe it upon seeing it in the news. It was impossible to believe. In a way it still is. I am just glad that the stone portion of the gate remains practically undamaged, but the original wooden tower structure is a total loss.

The Korean government intends to employ artisans to remake the wooden portion of the gate (I would assume by using traditional methods) at a cost of $10,000,000.00 using a process expected to take 2 years to complete. I am not sure why it will take quite so long, but at least they are rebuilding it. Unfortunately, the new gate will be little more than a fancy marker for where the original once stood (for six centuries: from the age of the ancient wars to the age of decadence and laziness).

This random thought is just so that the readers of this blog (as well as myself) never forget the tragedy and the arbitrary nature of the selfishness and stupidity that led to its demise.

Judge Book by Bookshelf?

I often wonder whether anyone takes the time to research the various profiles for disturbed and dangerous individuals for the sake of learning how many profiles said person or said person's friends actually match.

This odd thought occurred to me one morning while I was getting ready to work with the TV playing the last 10 minutes or so of Discovery Channel's 'The Most Evil' documentary series. Apparently some sociobiology geniuses gathered some grant money and made a scale upon which to grade psychos who commit heinous crimes based upon what they can gather of their respective psyche, motives, stimuli, etc. Near the end of the show, they often do some explaining about this or that - basically how they determined so-and-so's place on the chart. As I half-listened to the doctor's explanation of what 'sociopaths' generally do and how to identify them (while tossing on my attire in the chill of my drafty little flat) I found myself mentally listing several people I know who fit that description. I even felt that I could be fit into a similar profile by a person who didn't know me very well. That has a way of making a person feel a bit uncomfortable - especially when you think that lots of people watch shows like that. How many folks are out right now pigeon-holing misfits as sociopaths and potential spree killers? It's like a cut out of the movie Minority Report.

Despite what the modern education/media system likes to portray, people in general are still very deeply affected by stereotypes and the mind has a natural tendency to classify and categorize things accordingly. That being the case, it seems a bit socially irresponsible to go about saying things like "A sociopathic spree-killer candidate is the type of person who keeps to themselves, but has a domineering attitude; doesn't like to socialize unless it's about them, doesn't have many friends..." - or whatever. I would say that an appreciable portion of the world population has at some point matched that vague description in somebody's mind at some point in their lives.

As a semi-humorous sidenote, if the reader might take a moment to look it up, the DSM-IV definition of 'sociopath' seems almost purpose-written to match politicians and movie stars.

Anyway, why would this be a problem for me? I suppose it isn't, really. It's just another one of those things I notice while about my daily business that causes me to say (or at least think) to myself, "Gee, that's stupid - I wonder if anybody else picked-up on that," Being a law-abiding citizen myself, I'll just note here that should I ever become a suspect in a multiple homicide based purely upon the fact that someone told an investigator, "Yeah man, I bet it was him - I mean, he lives alone!" then my congressman can expect a rather irritable Email from me forthwith.

RPG Hunting!

In my travels I have hunted many animals, both dangerous and benign. I don't see any reason why I should take the time now to get into the various interesting hunts I have undertaken or the varying countries and environments in which such hunts have taken place. This post is more the effect of my observation that hunted animals rarely seem to yield gold, armor, or weapons when killed.

As a hunter, I do not find this surprising; but as an individual who has played his share of video games on various platforms, I find this a bit confusing. Take Super Mario 64 as a well-rounded example. The enemies in this game can be taken out in all sorts of entertaining ways, after which they vanish, yielding their worth in Mushroom Kingdom tender. Now, is this inside them or what? Take your pick of early RPG games and you'll see the same: "Evil Monster takes hit; loses 2500 HP. (victory music) You gained 25,000 EXP; you got 130 Gold!" That manner occurrence is so far removed from anything remotely 'real-life' that I can't imagine that it was just developed as a simple way for the characters to earn the money necessary for game progression, thus alleviating the need for long term in-game career plans. Although one doesn't have to spend much time with certain game-philes to detect a certain fear of the concept of 'job'.

Of course, I have taken the time to reason that this is actually representative of the value harvested from the creature's carcass - assuming that the characters broke the monster down into profitable parts and the value thereof was equal to 130 gold - making the assumption that such transactions take place in the next town 'off camera' as it were. That seems well enough - but that's assuming that mercenary Mario's lucrative kills are a phenomenon that only occurs in the the parallel dimension of the Mushroom World(s). I won't bother to touch the relationship between the coin in Mario's pocket and the level of health he maintains; but I'm sure I would feel better each time I encountered an frizbee sized gold coin too. I think he learned this pecuniary healing technique from Sonic the Hedgehog during the Nintendo vs. Sega arms race, but I digress.

Anyway, it would seem that Square caught this confusion recently, since I noted that you actually have to find someone with gold before you can get any in Final Fantasy 12. Monsters only have pelts, teeth, horns, etc. You have to find somebody dealing in the loot trade to actually make any money off a kill. This is much more realistic and brings back memories of hunting bounty varmints in Texas. I used to get $0.50 for every dead crow and a bit more for a rabbit in a farmer's field - though it would have been much more fun if the animals just dissolved into their average cash value.

I also thought during even those days, that it would be much nicer to be able to just sell off something like a rattlesnake or a winter jackrabbit whole without having to first divvy-up its anatomy into usable parts. Both animals are technically edible, but not meant for gourmet cooking - most people only care to lay down a dime for the skin. This takes time to remove and cure, and they are not really worth a whole lot as a single item, so I couldn't see a smart fellow wasting time or energy on them unless he had an empty stomach, an interested buyer, or a bounty ticket from a farmer citing and open season notice. Why would I take note of this fact? Because I see a lot of the gaming community's younger generation bartering conjecture as to how profitable and fun it would be to do the RPG-style hunting ala EXP grinding in real life. I can't really see that as being viable.

However, I recently saw a recording in which a certain fisherman had made a bit of money off the stuff he had found inside a shark. I'll have to take a moment to find the video, but the contents of certain sea animals has been documented to include such things as treasure, furniture, booze, and apparently even a suit of armor. Now that's a monster right out of video game fare. "Player kills greatwhite! You got steel armor!" or "Player slays tigershark! You got severed hand with gold wedding ring!" (Victory music and heroic poses all around!).

So, the those RPG fantasy buffs who want to hunt deadly high-level monsters for the treasure: toss out the replica landskneckt two-hander and pick up your harpoon gun! There's a new frontier out at sea and rumor has it the quarry love meeting novices up close. The EXP you gain depends on what you learn and your level at the time (an issue for another day).

Level 75 Great White Attacks!

the Gluttony!

Today was an interesting day in the life of the swordsman. Today I visited a Japanese style ramen bar in Seoul that is known throughout the strip for having a special ramen bowl that only the manliest of manly men can even finish - however, if you can finish it in 20 minutes, this massive bowl of noodles (worth $20) will be free and your picture will be added to the board with your completion time. They even take the time to click the timer for you.

Now, I know what the reader might be thinking. The average east Asian manly man is not quite the stature of the average westerner, but never underestimate your opponent. This bowl of ramen is truly enormous (I think it was a salad bowl) and full to the brim with boiling hot soup, about a half pound of noodles, two boiled eggs and several generous cuts of pork (not to mention several uzumaki naruto bits, without which, its just not ramen).

I looked up at the wall as I waited for mine to arrive at the table, I noted that the fastest completion time was just under 9 minutes. Even though I was just there to get the ramen for free (since I had little doubt that I could polish it off within 20 minutes) I felt in the back of my mind that I could beat that time if I put forth some effort.

I will spare the reader the details of my garish ramen-consuming frenzy; but suffice it to say that I finished this unbelievable bowl of noodles with kimchi, while conversing with my associate across the table, in about 7:30. This scored me the top slot at the bar and got me whatever I wanted free. It's a smart prize, since I am certain nobody wants anything else once they finish that thing, but just to prove a point - I ordered some rice balls and curry, which I ate while happily relishing the looks of amazement I was getting from the service staff.

When it was all said and done, I walked out with my name and picture on the wall and received a handshake from the owner, accompanied by clapping and cheering from the servers and a few of the other customers. to date, I am the only westerner on the board and the first person to top the old record in over a year.

This event was more fun than the double BK quad stacker I put away in Yongsan, which scored me a free meal card with the franchise manager's signature on the back and a photo on the bulletin board. And, I walked away without feeling like I had increased my risk of cholesterol-induced stroke by about 50%. the stacker was nice and everyone thought that was pretty cool - but that was cake compared to this ramen bowl. I have to get a picture to post so that the audience can get an idea of its enormity.

Anyway - that's that. I'll go look at my trophy spot on the wall of fame sometime later. Since we are on the subject of food and gratuitous overeating, I have decided to paste in an older post I made after having eaten my way out of a sushi bar in a port town in the far south of the country.

Here it is:

I have a bit of a reputation in parts of the Pacific rim for being able to put away a bit more food than the average person.

Once in Busan City, South Korea, I found myself locked in a life-or-death match of paper-rock-scissors with a drunk who had 10,000 won (about ten bucks) that I really wanted. I needed the money so that I could add it to my own to eat at a sushi/sashimi bar that I happened to find before I got on the boat to Japan.

I won the best 15 out of 20 or so games and the drunk finally began laughing and tossed me the money, saying “You the Kai-Vai-Vo Sun-seang-Nim!” (literally meaning: You’re the master/teacher of paper-rock-scissors).

I took the money and ran into the bar. I was on a tight budget since I had to change all of my cash for the boat ticket (because the beetle boat ticket teller wouldn’t acknowledge my credit card), so I was starving. I sat and ordered the “bottomless sushi platter” which consisted of samples of various rolls that alternated with each replinished order. Very good.

I ate continuously, plate after plate, until the waiter/rice-baller made a concerned glance to the manager, who came and (in careful English) explained that I had eaten more than enough.

I laughed and ordered another plate, when the manager told the server to cancel that order. I was surprised and tried to indicate with the menu that I had ordered an item that was technically without limit.

He just shook his head and apologized, saying something like, “You no more eat! Five men, maybe this much – but one man, we lose too many money!”

I had seven wooden platters stacked up and I had spent the last of my cash to eat my fill, so I made every attempt to explain that the menu did not specify a limit and that it was up to him to fill my orders until I was full.

In a final attempt to satisfy me, he suggested that I by an expensive drink with each new plate; but little did he know, I was broke after the initial cost of the meal.

So in the end I was denied and I was forced by my pride to leave the establishment; which I suppose is as close to getting kicked out as I might have gotten, considering my own size and the fact that most Korean people are very non-confrontational in their service practices.

That said, I'll take a moment to remind the reader that this is not something I do everyday. It is not a good practice for a martial artist to regularly overeat, since it leads to weight gain; but, I noted once before - this appreciation for food is one of my vices, so I offset it with vast amounts of exercise and a very regular diet most of the time. I would hate to set an unhealthy example with exploits like the one above. Remember kids: too much of a good thing can easily become a bad thing.

Announcement no Ryu

During my daily moments of contemplation it has recently occurred to me how frequently I have seen the stereotypical Kung-Fu movie style announced attacks in modern media ala "My monkey fist will defeat your complacent lotus!" I suppose this mostly occurs in Anime, but I have also begun to see it in western media and live action as well. I find this phenomenon most interesting, since it is not beyond my memory to recall the days when you would only see offensive maneuvers like the 'Planet Jurai Super-Supreme Total Annihilation Beam' complete with spastic pose and theme music during such classics as Tenchi Muyo or Power Rangers. Now it seems that this has become an acceptable way of engaging ones enemies in mortal combat - similar to the way a person might challenge their arch nemesis to a Yugioh Card match to decide the fate of the playground.

This concept of announced attacks and RPG-style antics has given me an idea for a new martial arts wherein no attack can be valid unless it is called out in advance of its execution. This would be a step beyond the target identification kiai of Kendo (which takes place as the target is struck), since it would require the practitioner to fully announce the attack, assuming the appropriate fighting stance, and then launch it. This would probably require a great deal of skill, since the defending party would then be fully prepared for the attack to be launched - so the attacker would have to be that much faster or stronger to be successful. Also, the attack's power would be indicated by the length and intricacy of the name; literally meaning that the "Flying whale assault of the three heavens," would be far less powerful than the, "Unobtainium Vulcan hammer earthquake submission slam of doom," Provided that the elemental affiliation of the person launching the UVHESSOD was fire or steel, since the FWAOTTH is more of an air/water type attack - but that's getting off track.

The style might also give rise to various schools of 'Announced Attack Arts' which would focus on themes such as "Sand based attacks," "Rubber based attacks," "Twisty submission style attacks," "Psychotic Scare Attacks," and etc. The art itself could get very diverse and interesting very quickly - although the fights would have to take the form of two opponents posturing against each other with a lot of staring and glaring and grunting (or witty one-liners, depending on the dubs chosen by the fighter's PR agents) - waiting for the right time to announce their attack in order to surprise the opponent, who at the announcement of the attack would stand in horrified awe and say something like, "Argh! Not that attack! He wouldn't!" as he receives it head on, suffering defeat in the form of a massive explosion.

But this could give rise to something I recently saw in an installment of the series One Piece, in which a character announced one attack and launched a completely different attack, effectively catching a well-prepared opponent off guard. Of course, in sport Attack-Title-Fu, this would result in a disqualification - but the idea of bait and switch on an opponent would have some applicability in real life if the art was ever to be touted as an art that is useful for self defense. However, I think the American audience would probably like to stick with traditional western arts like "Sprayem wi-mace no jutsu," or "Shootemen-callacops fu,"

Then again, maybe not. Developing concepts is a lot more boring that making them up and leaving them out for someone to find later - so I'm quitting this one here. I need to eventually get back to the memoir/story I was working on.

Why Yoroi Wyvern?

I am writing this as an immediate addendum to the previous post, since the arbitrary nature of my blog's name reflects directly upon me... I guess.
To answer the question in the simplest way possible, I made the name up on the spot. I believe its origin in my own mind stems from overexposure to the Final Fantasy series which has been an occasional pastime of mine since the bygone days of the NES (but I will not get into that subject, since I fear that in an arena such as a weblog, I tread on hallowed ground by virtue of its mere reference).
Were I to attempt to add depth to this blog's arbitrarily assigned moniker, I might note also that it means "Armored Serpent (Dragon)" in mixed Japanese and Saxon English. Of course, having said that, I would have to elaborate by saying that the two terms and languages used are of little personal significance. I think I have just developed the habit of producing literary rarities of this kind merely for the sake of establishing ID's for things such as Webmail addresses (and Blog titles, apparently).